LGBT, Gay, Writing, Poetry, Journal, Snark

From the shadows, always watching
Never daring, never hoping
Confused, scared, nervous.
Feelings all a muddle
Hormones raging, body changing
New eyes seeing strange visions.

Old friendships become complicated
as awareness blossoms
with new possibilities awaken.
Will they love you in return
or is it the death of understanding,
subject to rejection and ridicule?

Not everyone feels the same
when the lights come on
illuminating sudden desire.
Each goes through a process
where discovery is achieved
though for some it is a bane.

Vision shifts back and forth
inward and out again
the mind desperate to comprehend.
Words stumble and stutter
matching bodies betrayal
humiliating, excruciating, enraging.

Relief never quite comes
the process seems unending
as days become a haze.
Personalities shift and change
struggling to find stable ground
as old responses fail.

Eventually things do quiet
the mind adapts, the body completes;
the transformation all but finished.
The only true help throughout
is the passing of yet more time
as we learn what has come about.

Then we can leave the shadows
and retake hope in the new
and maybe find another like us.
It is different for everyone,
the process of becoming
that which we are meant to be.


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