LGBT, Gay, Writing, Poetry, Journal, Snark

This is a true story.  The only thing to remember is
that this is only my side of the story. Maybe the
perspective of the other is quite different. Then again, I
have a feeling they'll never talk about it.

** Special Note **

The story I am telling here is something that happened. It
also involves a definite illegal action or two. I do not
condone nor imply that what I write here is acceptable. To
me, it was simply something that happened, not to be
emulated. Think of the story as more of a warning against
similar folly.

Stu's Game

Chapter 1 Leaving Home

  I was moving out. There was no way that I could continue
to live at my Mom's house. We just fought all of the time.
It was getting to the point that I was starting to have
stomach pain at the thought of coming home. Too much shit
raining down on my head lately. Not only that, I was
worried about it overflowing onto my siblings. So, time to

  Mom and I sat down to try one last time to work it out.
Didn't happen. I had already found a new place to live. I
had become really good friends with a comic book store
owner. He had offered to let me move in with him if things
got to be too much to handle. Since I was only 17, it kept
getting thrown back in my face that I was stuck there. I
decided to apply for California Minor Emancipation. This
meant that my parents would no longer be responsible for me
and I would be declared a legal adult.

  The requirements for it weren't too hard in my mind.
First a legal residence separate from that of the parents.
Second, employment sufficient to meet bills incurred.
Third, continuing to attend school with a "c" average. I
had found the residence. The job wouldn't be a problem. The
grades could be dealt with. To make it a hell of a lot
easier, my Mom even agreed to not fight me in court over
this. Within the week, I moved in with Stu. He's the one
who owned the comic book store. He was also 35 years older
than me, at the time.

  Yeah, I knew he was gay. Didn't bother me. I knew I was
too. I didn't think it about it all that much. I was still
a virgin due to not meeting anyone that interested me
enough to do something about it. I was 6'2", with muddy
brown short cut hair, hazel eyes with brown centers. I
weighed about 176 pounds with a 28" waist. Very thin but
with legs from hell. For those that will absolutely die if
they don't know, yes, I'm cut. I had walked to school most
of my life, plus horseback riding, bicycling and swimming.
My legs were the one thing about my body that I felt good
about. Naturally, I showed them off as much as I could.
Yup, I wore shorts (really short ones) until it got so cold
that I had no choice but to put pants on or freeze my
assets off. Thankfully, in California that might not be
till late December.

  I had met Stu in a round about manner. I had gotten
into collecting comic books because of a friend of mine. He
went to a particular store once a week to get his latest
stuff. I had seen a really cool looking cover at Circle K
and got intrigued with the story. I can remember it well.
It was a Marvel Comics, X-men issue with Storm on the
cover. She had this awesome white Mohawk cut and black
leather clothes. This huge green snake is wrapped around
her and she has it by the head with one hand and holds a
wicked looking Bowie knife in the other ready to stab it. I
was hooked. So, the next time my friend went to get his
books, I rode along with him.

  After a couple of months of this, I got to know Stu
fairly well. Well enough that I told him about my home
problems. He was sympathetic and supportive. Within a
couple of more months he offered to let me move in if
things got too bad. Told him I would consider it. He was
about 57, I think. Hard to remember exactly now. 5'7" with
mostly gray hair, some black still mixed in. Now, looking
back, he reminds me of one of the characters that Whoopi
Goldberg talked about in her Broadway stand up routine. The
Jamaican housekeeper and the "old raison". Guess who I
mean! So, anyway, I ended up deciding to go ahead and move
in with him. He made it very clear that there would be no
"strings" attached to it. Good thing too, 'cause I had no
interest in him, sexually.

Chapter 2 Moving In

  Well, a week after talking to my Mom about it, I moved in
with Stu. I had my own room, toward the back of the
house. Stu had a Siamese cat that I just loved. It was
definitely a guard cat. Hated everyone including Stu.
Loved me on sight though. I was kind of shocked at the
condition things were in though. It was the worst condition
that I had ever seen any living space in.  I mean scary.
Well, down to work.

  I cleaned as much as I could and then got stalled. No
vacuum cleaner anywhere. Tore that damn place apart trying
to find one too. There wasn't one. Swearing to myself, I
called my Mom and asked if I could borrow hers for the day.
She agreed and brought it over. The stunned look on her
face when she got there and walked in was priceless. Well,
it would have been if I hadn't of agreed with her one
hundred percent. Without another word, she rolled up her
sleeves and got to work. Between the two of us, we got the
living room, kitchen and my room done by late that
afternoon. We collapsed onto two recliners and panted. Both
of us were covered in dirt from head to foot. You could see
the sweat trails on our faces. Still, the house was now
livable, barely. I think we killed the poor vacuum cleaner

  As we sat, Sebastian the cat gave Mom a sniff and then
curled up in her lap. Well, that made two people who had
passed his bizarre kitty test. The only two that I ever
heard of too. When she had recovered her breath a bit, she
asked if I was still sure about this whole idea. I told her
that it would work out. She just nodded her tired head and
let it go. I helped her to her car and went back in for a

  Stu was surprised and impressed with the house when he
got home. I informed him that we left his bedroom alone.
There was no way that we were going in there. He nodded and
made himself a Scotch on the rocks. He was tired too. A
shipment had come in that morning. We both just sat and
watched TV for a while. When he got up to go get something
to eat, I witnessed one of the weirdest things I have ever
seen. Sabastian got off of my lap, looked around, walked to
the kitchen and then back again. When Stu hadn't come
back right away, Sebastian walked over to the Scotch glass
that was sitting on the floor. He then daintily stuck his
nose in and began to lap it up. The cat was drinking
Stu's Scotch! I couldn't believe it. That cat must have
lowered what was left in the glass by half before I
actually recovered enough to shoo him off. I told Stu
what had happened when he came back and stared at his
nearly empty glass. He just nodded and scolded Sebastian.
Sebastian just licked his whiskers and yawned. I laughed
myself out and then went to bed.

Chapter 3 Settling In

  Things settled into a pattern over the next few weeks.  I
went to school, I went to work and I came home and crashed.
Life on your own is not all its cracked up to be when they
advertise the joys of not living with your parents. I began
to see the world in a new way in a hurry. Most of the
people I knew in high school had no clue what the world is
really like. They were all so concerned with popularity and
dances that I just shook my head. Anyway, I was too tired
to care about much for a long time.

  This is a good place to mention one of Stu's hobbies.
He had over 3000 videotapes. They were on bookcases through
the entire house, with the exception of my room. He had
cable and taped everything he could. Entire TV series,
movies, specials, you name it, he probably had it or soon
would. He even kept track of everything with the huge
filing card system. It was really cool to be able to name
any movie and have it pulled off a shelf in seconds. The
quality was not always great on some of the older tapes but
it still rocked.

  I can remember one weekend that we went on this vampire
craze. He had every vampire movie that had ever been made
up to then. Mind you, this was the late eighties. It was a
hell of a lot of fun. We did werewolf night, zombie night,
just plain mixed horror night, fantasy/sci-fi night, and
just about any type of movie genre you can think of. It was
way cool.

  During one of these all weekend movie binges, Stu found
out that I liked wine. I had found some in the fridge and
tasted it out of curiosity. Its not like I hadn't had it
before at family functions, I just wanted to see what this
kind was like. Stu noticed and told me that I could have
it. Hey, worked for me. After that, a new bottle would be
in the fridge whenever the old one ran out. He offered me
some of his Scotch, but the taste almost made me wretch.

Chapter 4

  Not long after the wine experiment, Steve started trying
to do things for me. The kind of things that cost money. I
immediately put a stop to it. I didn't want that kind of
obligation hanging over my head. He got really drunk one
night and said that he wanted to take care of me. What the
hell?!? No! was the very firm answer he got. I would handle
money issues myself. If I wanted something, I would save up
for it and get it myself. He was not too happy about how
stubborn I got over it. He gave up, or so I thought.

  I was pretty sure of myself. Aren't all 17 year olds?
Things went smoothly for a couple of more months. No big
pressing troubles. Enough money from my job to keep me
happy and bills paid. Not that I had all that many bills.
Was still only working part time because of school. The one
thing that I let Stu get away with was refusing to accept
rent money. Probably a dumb move on my part, but it made
him happy.

As for my attempt at Emancipation... that fell flat. You
see, my parents were divorced. She is here in California;
he was in Texas. I had called him to see if he would also
sign off on it, thereby avoiding a big legal hassle. He
told me flat out that he would fight it in Texas court. I
knew damn well that it would drag on and on. I would turn
18 before the case ever made it into court. I was furious.
The only reason he was going to fight it was because my Mom
was OK with it. I have never forgiven him, don't think I
ever will. So, there was nothing to do but wait out the 4
months until I turned 18. Arghhhhh!!!

Chapter 5 Plans are Laid

  I switched schools to make life easier on me. There was a
continuation high school less than a couple of miles from
where I was already going. After some serious research, I
found out that I could get a regular diploma from my old
high school since I was close to graduating. They have
since terminated that program, I hear. Anyway, I went with
my Mom to the guidance counselor at my old school. He said
that I couldn't switch schools because I was not failing 2
classes. Stupid rule and stupid thing to tell me. Within a
month, I turned back my grades in economics and US
government. The rest I still had A's in. We went back to
the idiot and got me transferred.

  Next, we trotted on over to the continuation school for
an appointment with the vice-principal there. Mom and I sat
waiting for half and hour before finally being shown in.
After we seated ourselves, he went straight for the throat.
Looking down at my school file sitting on his desk, he
looked me right in the eye and told us that he didn't think
that this was going to work. He didn't think that I would
perform. I looked over at my Mom just as she looked at me.
We both burst out laughing. I told him that I would shock
the hell out him. He explained the classes and how they
worked. Very different from regular high school. You went
your own speed, not the classes. I just grinned at him.

  My, my, my... how time flies. I was back in the vice-
principal's office 2 weeks later. All of my classes were
finished. Straight A's. Not only that, but I was 5 credits
over what I needed to graduate from my old school. He just
sat there stunned. Being the total smart-ass, I inquired as
to whether my performance was satisfactory. He just nodded.
Also mumbled something about a new school record for
finishing a class, a semester and actually graduating. I
didn't let him know that I had stayed up until 4 in the
morning to get that last class done for today.

  So, graduated a few months ahead of my class. Because of
the timing and the program, I was not allowed to walk with
the rest of my class. Didn't bother me. Wasn't something I
really cared about. All I knew was, DONE! No more school
until I was ready for it. Celebrated that night with a
friend from work, his Jacuzzi and a bottle of Crown Royale
that he got his uncle to buy for me. It was a total blast.
He was cute, but totally straight. Therefore, nothing
happened, more's the pity.

Chapter 6 The Game Begins

  Now here's where it got tricky. Not long after I finished
school, Stu had been setting a little something up. It
was a weekend and I had it off. He brought home a gallon of
wine that he knew I liked. At his suggestion, we had
ourselves a party of 2. Every time a glass of wine was
emptied, he poured me another. The whole time, he drank
only his Scotch. Got quite a buzz. I also damn near
finished the whole gallon.

  When he felt that I was properly smashed, I found out
what other hobbies he had that we had never talked about.
He was totally into S & M type bondage scenarios. In fact,
he rather liked the S part. He wanted me for the M part.
Just laughed. He challenged me to give it a try. I told him
it wouldn't work with me. Again he challenged me to last
least give it a try. I shrugged. OK, but don't say I didn't
warn him. I also wasn't as drunk as he thought I was. You
see, I am one of those people that are pretty well immune
to lesser alcohol. Hard stuff is another matter.

  He got up and went into his room. When he came back, he
had about 20 feet of a soft nylon rope in his hands. The
first game was to be tying me up. Again I laughed. Told him
flat out that I could get out of anyway that he chose to
tie my hands. I also flat out refused to allow my feet to
be tied. He accepted the challenge with a grin. Thought he
was hot shit with a rope. Guess he should have been with
his experience.

  He did a really good job with the rope. Normally, it
would have worked with most people. Lucky for me, I read a
lot. Also read things that most people don't. Now, I am a
very flexible person. Total klutz I may be, but flexible
indeed. I had completely flexed my wrists as he was busy
wrapping them. On top of that, I was sweating a bit. He
finished and sat back to watch me struggle. Or so he
thought. With a minute I handed him back the rope. I had no
problem getting out of the tangle. Guess it impressed him.

  He then challenged me to get out of handcuffs. Being no
dummy, I knew what he was setting up. He wanted to fuck me.
He also wanted me to react to his little games. He didn't
come out and say it, but it seemed pretty plain to me. When
I didn't respond to his challenge right away, he backed off
for a little while. Got me more wine too. Persistent, ain't
he? I took the wine and waited him out. When I thought he
had waited to the point of exploding, I told him fine. If
he could get me to react, I'd let him do whatever he
wanted. I still had a few tricks up my sleeves.

Chapter7 The Main Event

  He took me into his bedroom. I followed without protest.
Once there he pushed me onto his bed as roughly as he
dared. I kept a blank expression on my face. When he
ordered me to remove my shirt, I did nothing. He looked a
bit startled by that. Hey, the rules were laid out plain
enough. Get me to react. Just had no intention of doing it.
I was pissed off. No strings, huh? Try and get me drunk,
huh? Well, this game was going to be a bust if I could help

  When he finally realized that there was going to be no
response of any kind, he took over completely. He reached
into his pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
Bastard! He had planned on them all along. Just made me
madder. He didn't know how mad I was though. Not so much as
a twitch off of me. Stu sat on the bed next to me and
pulled my hands behind my back to handcuff me. Then he
pulled my shirt up and over my head. With my hands firmly
together the shirt couldn't come off. It just restrained me

  Then he undid the button to my shorts. Lifting my legs,
he eased them down around my ankles. Stu pushed in the
center of my chest and I fell backwards onto his bed. Now
my hands were completely trapped. Still got nothing from
me. I was busy shutting down. I mean that literally. I was
putting up walls in my head. Nothing was going to get
through. I was also regulating my breathing. My Mom had
loaned me some of her yoga books and I used the breathing
exercises pretty regularly. So, in essence, I slammed down
the mental "off" button with regard to anything happening
to my body.

  Now that my shorts were around my ankles, he then pulled
my white briefs to my mid thighs. Yup, that left me pretty
much hanging in the wind, so to speak. He said something
around the time he was ogling my semi-nakedness, but I
honestly don't remember what that was. I was so focused on
internals that externals kinda just didn't register. Even
the buzz from the wine was gone now. It was dawning on me
how dumb I was. Then the other shoe dropped.

  He had lit a candle and was dripping hot wax all over my
chest in patterns. I almost leapt out of my skin when the
drips hit my nipples. Yeah, they got hard. From the wax,
not from any excitement! I just clamped my teeth together
and didn't move. Any reaction and the asshole was going to
fuck my brains out. I also finally realized that it had
been a particularly bad idea to have placed the stakes that
I did. It was a shock to realize that he probably wouldn't
care if he hurt me when he did fuck me. Not exactly ideal
for a way to loose one's virginity. I had read 'some' gay
porn, so I wasn't oblivious to the fact that my first time
was going to hurt like hell to start with. Well, the only
way out that I could see was to finish this.

Chapter 8 End Game

  He began to get very frustrated with me. My will was
strong and I did not give in to anything he did. He tried
pinching, slapping, caressing, you name it, and it got
tried more than once. Nothing from me. I was getting
worried though, about what would happen when he did give
up. After all, he did have the keys to the handcuffs. Rape
was becoming a primary concern for me now. God, it was
stupid to accept this damn challenge in the first place!

  Stu even tried going down on me. It almost worked. The
minute I felt a response beginning to happen, I clamped
down on myself. I only had to remember the previous
bullshit he had pulled to keep my self from getting hard in
his frustrated mouth. My rage at him was growing by the
minute. How can you keep doing this when it is so obvious
that your would be 'partner' wants nothing to do with it?

  Finally, he gave up on trying to get me hard. Believe me,
I was relieved! I am pretty sure that if he had kept at it
long enough, I would have popped an erection despite my
efforts at controlling it. I wanted to vomit at the thought
of him actually managing to get me hard. Just as I thought
he had given up on the whole thing, he switched tactics on

  He tried kissing me. His breath stank of Scotch. I almost
bit him when he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth. I
held myself back though. When this last ditch effort didn't
have the result he wanted, Stu finally gave up. Now came
the moment of truth... was he going to let me out of the
damn handcuffs? I got lucky, finally. He sat me back up and
unlocked the cuffs. Phew!!! I got on my feet and returned
my clothing to where they belonged... on my body! So ended
that game. I know now that I was incredibly lucky and that
it could have easily turned out for the worst possible.


  Yeah, I should have known better. Yes, I made mistake
after mistake. Fortune smiled but doesn't often. Stu
never did try to do or start anything again after that
incident. The cold shoulder I gave him the next day might
have had something to do with that. Maybe it was the guard
I acquired not long after that.

  Sebastian, Stu's cat started a new habit. It was summer
and I was sleeping in my room in nothing but undies. It was
about 95 degrees at midnight. Too hot to sleep with
anything more on. I am also a stomach sleeper; legs spread-
eagle during the summer. Anyway, I didn't have my door
completely shut. I wake up and there is this hot hairy
thing lying in my crotch.

  Sebastian had pushed my door open, jumped up on the bed
and curled up on the bed directly in my crotch. His head
was facing the door. I woke up because he was hissing
vehemently. When I raised my head and looked at the door
from over my shoulder, I saw Stu's head poked into my
room watching me. Apparently, Sebastian did not like either
of us being disturbed while we slept. I let him sleep
wherever he wanted after that. No more midnight visits from
roommates after that either.

  I moved out a couple of months after the game night. I
decided to stay friends with him. That only lasted a few
years after anyway due to other problems he caused for me.
To this day, I can't drink Scotch or Chablis wine. Makes me
ill just smelling them. Moral of the story... not all
knights ride white horses and are good people, and some
strings are transparent until pulled.

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